Last month I got married to the man I love. We met in December, began dating on Valentine’s Day, got engaged at the end of May, then got married the end of September. (I’m sorry Mom and Dad.)
After coming back from the honeymoon and lived together for two weeks, people have been asking us “how’s married life?” As I’ve been talking to people, more thoughts have been floating in my head, so I thought “why not write it all out?”
“How’s Married Life?”
Well, first off I can say it’s not what I expected. I’m not sure what I thought married life would be like, but it’s been a strange ride so far.
There are so many things that change when you get married, I know that many people nod and say “well, of course, there are things that change.” But I mean the small things along with the big things.
I don’t have my own bed anymore, I share a bed with my husband, I have to wake up to him every morning and go sleep next to him every night. my spouse comes before anyone else.
When I make decisions, I have to think about him in addition to myself, my schedule isn’t my own anymore. When we have fights, I can’t stomp home and make up the next morning. Habits that I didn’t know my spouse had come out (Annoying, strange, or even plain gross.) and vice versa.
When we have fights, I can’t stomp home and make up the next morning. Habits that I didn’t know my spouse had come out (Annoying, strange, or even plain gross.) and vice versa.
Living with someone else is new and different. For personal reasons, my husband lived with my family for four months. I remember thinking to myself “oh, we’re living in the same space. When we get married I’ll know how to live with him. This’ll be easy!” …I was very wrong. To be clear, living with my husband isn’t horrible, I love it! But living in the same space and living together are two completely different ideas.
Forgiveness, grace and a need for Christ are a must! We are both sinners so we will (and have) sinned against each other. Part of being married that I have discovered is forgiving each other continuously. I suppose that’s why Jesus said to forgive each other 70 times 7. (Matthew 18:21-22)
Marriage calls for sacrifice. Sometimes on both sides, sometimes just one end. Sometimes that sacrifice is doing the dishes when your spouse is too tired to do it. Sometimes it means staying awake till four in the morning in the ER with your spouse.
Something that has been increasingly dawning on me is that some things in life you cannot possibly understand until you have experienced it. Nothing can prepare you for what marriage is like. I thought I was ready. I thought I knew what it would be like living together. I thought I knew from reading articles, watching other Christian couples how to love and interact with each other. It wasn’t until after I got married that I realized. “I have no idea what I’m doing!”
Those words were exactly what I told my father when I came back from my honeymoon. He laughed and said, “You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve experienced it.”
To be clear none of this is to say that marriage is bad or that I’m not happy. Quite the contrary, I’m actually very happy. God gave me a wonderful man for me to go through life with and, if the Lord allows it, grow old together.
I cannot say that I’m an expert. I’ve only been married three weeks (going a month next week). These are merely concepts that I have only just discovered.
I hope that this answers the question of how married life has been for me. It’s been a strange and wonderful ride to figure out what is normal and discovering new things about God and my spouse every day. I hope that I can continue this journey for many years to come.