The end of 2011, or, A 2012 prayer

This is going to be a serious post not like my previous comedy posts. 2011 is coming to an end.

This year has been rather rough. I got uprooted from my church and placed into another one that was entirely different. Me and my friends don’t get to see each other much. I felt kina lonely for a stretch.
So you might be thinking. “Yeah that sucks. I feel sorry for you. You having a rough year like that.”
But this year also wasn’t rough. No, I correct myself. It was Wonderful. The best year I have ever had!
Sure I am going to a different Church, but I love Imago Dei. Sure I don’t get to see my other friends a lot, but they’re still there, and we talk on IM a lot. Sure I felt kina lonely for a stretch, but I found that I had friends, new friends. Lisa Clearwater, Aden Clearwater, and maybe even someone named Mandi!
My father said that Jesus came to take bad years and turn them into good ones. The year I just told you of is an example of that. It didn’t all just happen by luck. I wasn’t carrying my rabbit’s foot, my lucky dice, or my lucky horseshoe. Jesus Christ did it. He was the one when I felt lonely showed me my friends, He was the one that guided my family here, He is the one who allows me and my friends to IM each other.
I do not call this year a rough year, though there were challenges I must say. But I call this a wonderful year because God the father, Jesus Christ the son, and the holy spirit were with me.
I am going to pray a New years Eve prayer.
Dear father,
you alone could have helped me and everyone else through this tough year
Thank you for taking us through and molding us into the people you want us to be.
This year has not only been the roughest but the best. You have always been there you never abandoned me, but you were right there. Thank you for sending your son,
Not just to die for us, but to take our bad years and say. “Sure this year might have been rough, but look at all the good things that I did for you.” Please help us to remember that when ever we are feeling like our life is falling apart, or you just can’t take things anymore that you are there God, that you Jesus Christ is there, and the Holy Spirit is there, we are NEVER alone. God thank you so much so bringing us through this year. Please help us with the next, no matter the trials and challenges we will face. You are always there and we are NEVER, NEVER, alone.
In Jesus name
Amen! And happy New year.

The Adventures of I and Buster: The Christmas Chase

“Christmas is around the corner!” I thought as I drove up to my brother’s mansion

“And we get to spend Christmas with my brother.” Buster cowered in the passenger seat. I looked at him. “I know that you don’t like his kids. Give them another chance.”
I rang the doorbell. My brother answered the door. I stepped inside to a rich looking living room, and seven kids plowed into the room and knocked me over. “Yay!!” They all shouted in unison. “Hi, kids!” I said brightly standing up. “Hello Uncle.” They said in unison again. It was creepy the way they all spoke in unison, I wondered if they planned it that way. “Hello brother!” I turned and I almost fell over again, my brother had engulfed me a huge hug. “Still not married I see.” My brother said. “I’ve been busy.” I replied.
“Where’s the puppy?” One of the kids asked. “WE WANT THE PUPPY!!!!!!” The children demanded. “I don’t know where he is.” I lied. The children marched two by two and one was at the head, to search for Buster while chanting. “Looking for the puppy, we are looking, we are looking, looking for the puppy.”
I felt Buster creep up to my side. “I am going to use the bathroom.” I said. Buster hurried after me. “Come on Buster we have to hide.” Buster and I ran to the second floor and we started going down a hall but then we heard. “Looking for the puppy, we are looking, we are looking.” We ran up the side staircase to the third floor. “Okay Buster which room?” I asked.
Buster sniffed the air and ran down the hall as we heard the kids marching up the side staircase.
Buster and I hid in a room. It was a sitting room. “Whew let’s stay here a bit Buster.” I whispered. But Buster was headed into this other room in the sitting room. “Buster….get back here.” I whispered. “Looking for the puppy, we are looking, we are looking, we are looking for the puppy.” Buster ran into the room. And closed the door.
The sitting room door busted open. “WE WANT THE PUPPY!!!” The seven kids screamed.
“He’s not here!” I lied again putting a fake smile on my face. The kids looked at each other and as if they all had one mind a they pulled out Nerf guns. All sorts, handguns, machine guns, and sniper guns. My eyes widened. “Tell us where the puppy is and we won’t shoot you.” The lead kid said. “We have a lot of bullets.” Said one kid. I gulped.
“Now, now we don’t want any trouble.” I said. I looked at the door. Then I had a brilliant idea.
“Hey kids! Look….It’s SANTA CLAUS!! He’s here early!” None of the kids looked to the window.
“How stupid do you think we are?” The lead kid said. I gulped. They pointed they pointed their guns at me fingers on the triggers. “Not stupid at all.” I said. “FIRE!!!!!!!!” The lead kid shouted. Hundreds of bullets fired. I ran outside the room and down the hall up a flight of stairs and down the hall. Then I saw Buster.
“Buster!” I said running towards him. Buster barked quickly. I realized he was warning me of something. Suddenly  the floor I discovered was a trapdoor. I fell onto a kid-sized train. I saw the kids leap onto the train. “AHHHHHHH!!!!!” I screamed like a girl and ran. “Woof, woof!” “Buster!” I leapt to the front of the train and disconnected with the rest of the train.

I sighed with relief.  “Okay we got rid of them let’s see where this train leads too.” I said. In a minute it stopped in the living room.

I saw my brother. “Oh dear did the kids chase you around the house to get Buster?” He said.
I nodded. “Did they point nerf guns at you?” I nodded. He laughed.”Oh don’t worry about that. They always do that to family.”
The next morning on Christmas Day we came downstairs for Christmas presents. And the seven kids came to me and said in one voice. “Uncle, we want to give you your Christmas present.” “Okay.” I said smiling. They pointed they’re nerf guns at me. “FIRE!!!!” The lead kid said. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” I screamed. Buster and I ran out the door into my car, driving away as fast as we could with the kids hot on our trail firing at us…..Next year I think I’ll stay home.

The Adventures of I and Buster: The Doughnut disaster

I was walking out of a doughnut shop. It was a rainy day. “Who cares if it’s raining? As long as I have my doughnuts then I don’t care what weather it is.” I said standing on the corner.

Then a car drove by and splashed water at me. My doughnuts and I were soaked.
I ran back into the doughnut store to get a refund and bought a new box of doughnuts.
“I will protect them.” I said proudly to myself. I hurried to my car and started it up.
I headed to my home. I was driving down the street when I heard a police car siren going off right behind me. I pulled over. The policeman came to the window and said. “You have been illegally transporting doughnuts in your car.” He said. “What?! I bought these from Yummy yummy doughnut shop!” I replied. “Yes but you have to transport them in a specific way.” He walked to the passenger door I opened it. The policeman buckled the doughnut box in and said. “There! That’s how you legally transport doughnuts.”
“Okay you have been given a warning. If I catch you illegally transporting doughnuts then you will get a ticket.” The policeman said. “Yes sir.” I said.
I got home and sat at my table. “Buster! Come here it’s time for doughnuts!” Buster ran into the room. I gave a doughnut to him. “Hey Buster want to go outside?” I said to him. Buster ran upstairs and barked. I ran upstairs. I was confused the room was empty but Buster kept barking.
“Okay, okay, I’ll go and look.” I said stepping into the room. Next thing I knew Buster pulled the door shut and locked the door. “Buster! Buster! Why’d you do that!?” I banged on the door.
I sat in the room for a hour. Then Buster opened the door. “BUSTER YOU LITTLE-” I shouted.
Buster slammed the door again. I waited for five minutes. Buster opened the door again. “YOU LITTLE-” Buster slammed door on my nose. “Ow, ow ,ow ,ow ,ow!” I rubbed my nose.
Five minutes later. I said. “Hi Buster! How are you?” I smiled. Buster barked and slammed the door. I put my foot in the way of the door. “YOU ARE THROUGH BUSTER!!! THROUGH!!!” I chased him downstairs.
I saw my doughnut box, it was empty! “YOU ATE ALL MY DOUGHNUTS!????” I yelled. Buster barked. I took Buster outside. And I got my phone and ordered a box of doughnuts. In half an hour I got my doughnuts again. “Ahh my doughnuts.” I said. I sat down at my table.
Buster ran into the room. “How did you get in here?” I said with my mouth full. Buster barked. He ran upstairs and barked. “Oh no you don’t! I’m not falling for that again.” Then I felt a gun at my head. “Step away from the doughnuts.” I dropped my doughnut I looked up and saw a masked guy. Soon a whole group of people busted in. “Who are you?” I said. “We are the Doughnut thieves! Give us all your doughnuts and no one gets hurt!” I handed them my doughnuts and just like that they were gone.
I sighed. “I give up. I won’t order any doughnuts today.” So I ordered pizza instead.